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BirdmanArt Commissions Open!

[birdmanart]

[ID: A drawing of two characters in front of a pale pink background, showing off different levels of finish from a monochrome sketch to full line art and shading, with a chart detailing commission tiers and prices between them. Above them, sketchy pink text reads “Birdman Art Commissions” and “Additional information in description”. Since the commission tiers and prices will be detailed below, they are not included in this image description.]

Hello! I’m Bird, Merlin, or Ira, also known as Birdman Art and various variations thereof. And welcome to my commissions! Yes, I offer them! Yes, they are open!

Will Draw

• Original characters
• Fan characters
• Characters from media
• Furry/anthro
• Violence/gore (within reason - please discuss)

Won’t Draw

• Mecha
• Sexual NSFW

Keep reading below the cut for a bit more detail on the pricing tiers! All examples shown are digital.

Keep reading

[mer-birdman]

Just by-the-by, I do commissions! Here’s all the info!

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[penandinkprincess]

listen i know each actor brings their own spice to a role, but i just can’t take timothee chalamet’s wonka seriously 

where is the madness behind his eyes??? the malice??? the complete disregard for the laws of mankind and decency???

[penandinkprincess]

this man makes me fear that i’ll be shoved into a taffy machine at the slightest provocation 

as! he! should!

[delishdessert]

I’m not gonna let this gem of a tag on this post go unnoticed.

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[newsiesfixation]

are you more GOT A FEELING BOUT THE HEADLINE I SMELLS ME A HEADLINE !!!!! guy or a AINT IT A FINE LIFE CARRYING THE BANNER MAN TO MAN !!! kinda guy??

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[ivecarvedawoodenheart]

like there comes a point where you think something is fundamentally wrong with you. and then it turns out it’s just Friday and you haven’t washed your hair in three days and maybe you’re also just a little lonely and the combination of all three of those things is whittling a hole into your chest every time you breathe. but also the sun’s up. and you’ve survived everything so far, so you’ll survive this too, even if it hurts, even if you have to survive it many times.

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[frontseatpocket]

get panini pressed, idiot

[thededfa]

I need to get one of these for my chickens. Catching them is a task and a half

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[prokopetz]

Things fanfic is reputed for inserting into the source material:

• Sex

Things fanfic actually inserts into the source material:

• Sex
• Holding hands
  
• Bizarre misunderstandings
• Meticulous descriptions of food and clothing
  
• The author’s unaddressed traumas
• Found family
  
• Plausible explanations for existing plot holes
• Additional plot holes
  
• Exciting new frontiers in speculative physics, economics, chemistry, biology, zoology, psychology, theology, and/or ontology
• Tax evasion
• Gender
  
• Very bad puns
  

[apparentlynotreallyfinnish]

What fanfic often removes from the source material:

• All beds except one
  

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[knottahooker]

HEY CALIFORNIA PEOPLE!

HURRICANE ADVICE FROM A FLORIDIAN!

Make sure you've got shelf-stable food and water for everyone in the house, including pets. The rule of thumb is a gallon per person per day. Freeze water bottles if you want cold water.

Make sure you have enough meds!

Make sure you have batteries, candles, flashlights, and a manual can opener. 

Make sure your electronics, including backup batteries, are charged. Unplug things you don't want fried in case of a power surge. 

Don't tape your windows, it doesn't help and you'll just be stuck scrubbing goo off of them later.

Put a mug of frozen water in it in your freezer with a quarter on top of it. If your freezer defrosts, the ice will melt and the quarter will sink and tell you you need to throw things out.

Get everything that's not nailed to a foundation out of your yard. That dead branch hanging on by a thread? Time to get it down (it was probably time to do that three days ago, but now’s better than never).

Park away from powerlines and trees if you can. Rain makes the ground soft and then trees fall over.

Have an evacuation plan to a shelter. Evacuate if they’re telling you to.

If you start to flood, don't go in your attic. You'll get trapped if the water rises too high and you can't hack through your roof. This happened to a lot of people in Texas and Louisiana. Get ON the roof.

Be safe, be well <3 

[ms-demeanor]

What the fuck?

???? WHAT???

Ngl, "tropical storm in death valley" was not on my 2023 bingo card.

Drainage on our roads is shitty in SoCal, don't attempt to drive through water deep enough to touch your bumpers and don't attempt to walk across moving water, water only as deep as your ankles can knock you down and sweep you away.

Predicted wind speeds are similar to strong Santa Anas, so lock things down like you would for that, though keep in mind that yeah the combination of heavy rain and wind leads to more felled trees than just wind.

Take photos of the inside of your home now; flood insurance fucking sucks here and if you're in a possible flood zone you want as much documentation of your home and belongings as possible in case you need to make a claim.

Freezing water bottles also means you've got a lot of ice in your freezer if power goes out, and safe potable water once it thaws, so freeze bottles of water to have something to keep your fridge and freezer cool and store more water regardless of if you want cold water.

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[most-tragic-character-tournament]

MOST TRAGIC TOURNAMENT, PRELIMINARY POLLS: CRITICAL ROLE

Zerxus Ilerez

Lucien Tavelle

Vax’ildan Vessar

Caleb Widogast

Mollymauk Tealeaf

Vote for whoever you think is the most tragic! The top two most voted characters will win spots in the bracket for the full competition!

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[kaijuno]

Coelacanth but it’s the size of a galaxy and it’s spots are stars. Imagine that. You’re welcome

[kezral-art]

behold, he is real

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[queerdo-mcjewface]

[Image description]

Leonard Pollard

My mom was having trouble using they/them prnouns with some friends for a while. One day she said “I think the problem is that I haven’t changed the way I view their gender outside of their pronouncs which adds several extra steps in converting binary pronouns to they/them then conjugating it. So I need to shift how I see them as a gendered person entirely to make using their pronouns easier.” And since then she hardly ever messes up.

[End image description]

[swordshapedleaves]

A lot of the cis people in my life need this

[yourg4mem4sterth3whit3r4bbit]

This is literally why people mess up pronouns and why it’s a problem.

Like the reason you’re not calling me “they” is because you still think of me as gendered the way you initially assumed. It’s not just the pronouns I want you to change, they only serve as an acknowledgement of the gender I want you to adjust your perspective to. If you did that, you wouldn’t struggle with it.

[cornerfolks]

she literally unlocked her Pronouns ability

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[frauggietheperson]

reblog if you fully and intentionally are referring to aspec people as well when you use the word queer to refer to the community

[mckitterick]

my partner once said, "if you have to explain your sexuality to straight people, you're probably queer"

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[bubblesandburdens]

Does Alec Shaw of Critical Role Store Review Fame know that I'm obsessed with him

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[zooophagous]

Seeing people shoot raptors in other countries is fucking wild to me because we have a whole system of super strict laws governing how you can handle an individual FEATHER off of an eagle, and it doesn't have to even be a dead eagle. One can molt and you can find it on the ground and if you're caught with it the warden will fuck your entire life. What do you mean people are out there shooting them to protect a fucking pheasant. A pheasant??? That thing I have to avoid running over approximately 459 times any time I leave a major highway???

[bonnettbee]

My good friend @prismaticate has asked a very good question here, and while I’m not entirely sure I’m qualified to explain it and would love some input from more qualified sources, my SUPER simplified understanding of why the Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918 and its numerous modern revisions and addendums have clauses about this included is this:

-It’s basically impossible to tell a feather that’s been picked up off the ground from one that’s been taken from a poached bird

-This used to be a MAJOR problem when bird-feather hats and the like were in high demand back in the day, because several bird species on the edge of extinction kept getting poached in spite of the new laws protecting them since people would just say they “found” any feathers from protected species used in the stuff they were selling, and you couldn’t prove otherwise unless you literally caught them in the act of poaching

-This eventually got SO bad that they had to just make it illegal to have the feathers at all, with certain exceptions made for members of different indigenous groups, or authorized organizations that display them as part of efforts to educate the public about the species they belong to

@zooophagous is this a reasonable rundown? Was there anything I missed/any better sources you might recommend to learn more about this? I know it’s probably far more nuanced than that, but this was kind of the explanation I’d always seen floating around. 😅

[zooophagous]

That's pretty much the gist of it! Eagles and eagle feathers have more laws on top of that because of their sacred uses in certain indigenous practices, how they relate to legal falconry, and because eagles at one time were highly endangered while at the same time being a national symbol. Where a cop or a game warden may shrug and look the other way if you, say, illegally picked up a chickadee feather from your bird feeder, if they see a real eagle feather they will notice and will be VERY interested in where it came from.

Not long ago here someone was arrested and charged for violating these laws because they tried to sell a plains feather bonnet at a pawn shop, claiming they had "found it while exploring an abandoned house."

The clerk suspected it was real eagle, the warden confirmed it was, and because those feathers are so tightly tracked they were able to locate the family of the previous owners who said the item had been stolen some time ago.

If nobody knows you have it, obviously you can get away with it. But if they see it, or God forbid you try to SELL it, the hammer will fall.

[bogleech]

Im surprised every time people think it's a crazy sounding law, it is genuinely one of the only things preventing a lot of native birds from extinction or any asshole could kill as many as they want and just say they found them on the ground

[the-math-hatter]

Wait, poaching wasn’t about the meat, it was about the feathers?

[zooophagous]

The collapse of bird populations in the USA in the late 1800s thru early 1900s was very much about feathers.

At its peak the feather trade had feathers that were worth more than gold. Commercial hunters would shoot birds out of the sky and sell feathers by the pound, in literal huge crates. Egrets were especially sought after for their beautiful breeding plumage, which was used in fancy hats and accessories. This wrought havoc on the poor birds because they only ever had this plumage during breeding season, so not only were the breeding birds dying, they were leaving next generation's chicks and eggs behind to die of neglect.

Beyond hats, the gentleman's art of fly tying was also a popular art form, more for the sake of showing off one's rare collection of feathers and art than for actual fishing.

There was some meat hunting as well before the banning of commercial hunting, mostly ducks and geese, which also drifted close to extinction as they were taken to be sold in markets.

Even white tailed deer, the ubiquitous animal that's found all over north America in truly ridiculous numbers, came dangerously low. But meat wasn't where the money was when it came to birds. It was feathers.

The Lacey act banned commercial hunting in the United States, putting an end to the constant unregulated commercial killing to fill market stalls with meat (which incidentally is why you don't see venison in most supermarkets in the states. Only farmed deer is legally allowed to be sold.)

And the Migratory Bird Treaty Act made it a crime to not only kill a bird, but to even posess a single feather from one. Most people won't buy a hat that would get them arrested if they wore it outside, so the market for feathers was gutted.

Even though feather hats aren't popular in this day and age, nobody is in a hurry to amend these laws, as birds in general are well loved and popular animals and still very much threatened by other stressors such as pollution and habitat loss.

[keroascrazy]

So, in the off chance you find one, what....do you do with a feather? Leave it? Report it to local authorities?

[zooophagous]

You take a picture of your cool find and leave it on the ground

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[moon-o-magic]

Did you guys know the “Sickos” artist made a Sicko thats a WGA screenwriter on strike (said comic artist is a The Onion satirist comic artist and his name is Stan Kelly)

ALT

And honestly? What a mood. Haha YES indeed.

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[katy-l-wood]

A BEAR ATE MY BEST HUMMINGBIRD FEEDER.

Rude.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Someone tell that bear he's not supposed to eat that with the skin on.

[meanderingorange]

I live in South Africa. And if you live in South Africa and you have any contact with people from the US or Canada you might have run into a question about wildlife like lions and elephants roaming our streets. Most South Africans get pretty offended by questions like this. We are a civilized country, our large and dangerous wildlife gets contained in properly fenced parks. 

I use to get offended by this until I visited a few places in Canada and realized that the reason why you ask is that some of your large and dangerous wildlife does simply roam the countryside and sometimes make excursions into town.

This honestly blew my mind. What do you mean, you have bears just walking around? What the hell? 

[roach-works]

north americans don't all encounter deadly megafauna on our porches and front lawns but it happens often enough that we all think this is a reasonable amount of gigantic animal to happen to your house. so when we think of africa we kinda imagine it like this:

like. if we had elephants here. this is what we would be putting up with on the regular. what do you mean you guys are more sensible than us.

[shiobookmark]

TELL ME AGAIN HOW AUSTRALIA IS THE DEATH COUNTRY
We have two spiders and (apparently) 12 snakes but we don’t have lions, bears, wildcats, AND crocodiles.
We sometimes have crocodiles and large boas in certain areas. We don’t have to worry about a bear attacking our halloween decor. Or moose deciding to joust on the front lawn.

Maybe similar to Africa, America’s fear of Australia is because you all assume our wildlife is exactly as huge and space-invadey.

[roach-works]

oh yeah i forgot about the gators

[captainlordauditor]

I live halfway between two large cities in a pretty damn suburban area and hearing the sentence “did you hear there was a bear* spotted on [road that is pretty built up and I don’t think of as wild at all]” only left me a little surprised. My mother once saw what she described as a coyote going to school- just walking around a university campus.

so.... yes I was absolutely picturing elephants reaching over your back yard fences for some tasty leaves.

* Ursus americanus for clarification not homosexual sapiens

[sima-the-unwary]

Couple years ago we had a bear in the market of downtown Ottawa. Ottawa has a population of 1 million, and it made it to the largest market (byward), and had to be removed with sedatives.

[vaspider]

yeah, like. the US is big. a lot of it is much wilder than you think.

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[puppygirl-hornyposting]

[godloveyell]

[jennazed]

flashback to when MLK Jr said the worst group in the US for black rights wasn't the lawmakers passing Jim Crow laws or the KKK but the white moderate. That it was the white moderate who was forcing the country to find a middle ground between civil rights and genocide which allowed the continued systematic mistreatment of the African American community